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» Dag Wieers » About me » Favorite songs/lyrics » Once Upon A Time - Frank Zappa 
Once Upon A Time - Frank Zappa
  Once upon a time
  Way back a long time ago,
  When the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than
  Mark Bolman 

    Oh, thank you Frank
    And don't misspell it,
    That's not Marc Bolan
    That's Mark Volman 

    Hiya friends
    I want to welcome each and everyone of you
    I want to say to you tonight
    I feel great
    I mean, I feel great
    Everywhere I go people are always coming up to me
    End they say Mark, Mark, Mark 

    Mark are you kidding
    Let me tell you this friends:
    I am not kidding
    I mean, I am portly and I am maroon
    Well, how many people here tonight can guess what I am? 

  Aaaah
  I can't guess what you are 

    Well, then I'll give you some clues
    And the first clue is
    I am portly
    Does that help? 

  Not much
  No, I don't know who you are 

    Okay, I got one
    Clue number two:
    I am double knit 
    Does that help? 

  No, not much
  Whaddya mean? 

    Well, then I've to give you one more clue
    I know this is gonna give it away
    And I hate like damn to tell you this
    But clue number three: 
    Ich bin Maroon! 

  Ahhhhhhhh you're a sofa! 

  Once upon a time
  Way back a long time ago,
  When the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than
  Mark Volman ... 

    Thank you, Frank 

  ... trying to convince each and every member
  Of this extremely hip audience here tonight, 
  That he was nothing more, nothing less
  Than a fat maroon sofa,
  Suspended in the midst of a great emptiness
  A light shined down from heaven (* twinkling sounds *) 

  And there he was ladies and gentleman, the good lord
  And he took, he took a look at the sofa,
  And he said to himself
  "Quite an attractive sofa"
  "This sofa could be commercial" 

    Thank you, Frank

  With a few more Margaritas and the right company 

  However, I digress
  "What this sofa needs" said the Big 'G' 

  "Is a bit of flooring underneath of it"
  And so in order to make this construction project possible,
  He summoned the assistance of the celestial corp of engineers,
  And, by means of a cute little song in the German language
  Which is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business
  The Good Lord went something like this:

  Take it away Jim Pons!

    Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag
    Unter diesen fetten fliessenden Sofa 

  Everybody! 

    Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag
    Unter diesen fetten fliessenden Sofa 

  And of course ladies and gentlemen that means:
  "give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofa"
  And sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness
  As far as vision permits,
  Stretching all the way from Belfast to Bogner Regis
  And the Lord put aside his huge cigar
  And proceeded to deliver unto the charming maroonish sofa
  The bulk of his message
  With the assistance of a small electric clarinet
  And it went something like this... 

    Ich bin der himmel
    Ich bin das wasser 

  I am the sky and the water

    Ich bin der Dreck unter deinen Walze
    Ich bin dein geheime Schmutz
    Und verlorenes metal Geld
    Metal Geld
    Unter deine Ritzen
    Ich bin deine Ritzen und Schlitze 

    Ich bin Wolke
    Ich bin Bestickt
    Ich bin der Autor aller Werken und Damast Paspern
    Ich bin der Chrome Dinette
    Ich bin der Chrome Dinette
    Ich bin Eier aller Arten
    Ich bin alle Tage und Nächte
    Ich bin alle Tage und Nächte
    Ich bin hier
    Und du bist mein Sofa
    Ich bin hier
    Und du bist mein Sofa
    Ich bin hier
    Und du bist mein Sofa
    Ich bin hier
    Und du bist mein Sofa 

  Eddie, are you kidding me?
  Eddie, are you kidding me?
  Eddie, are you kidding me?